Marriage is one of the oldest traditions that has appeared, transformed, and survived in dozens of cultures over hundreds of years. Marriage is often seen as the purest or strongest form of commitment, a way to say to your loved one that you are committed to your relationship, that they are the only one for you.
A beautiful display of trust that is not limited to traditional marriage and can transcend to life-partners who choose not to marry or who are not allowed to marry. All that matters is your commitment to each other and should not be limited to what a piece of paper says.
While marriage and life-long partnerships are truly beautiful things to witness and experience, they are sadly in danger. Around 50% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce, a depressing statistic that has maintained this momentum for several years. A lot of relationships, but not all, often end due to an unwillingness to change. To get everything out in the open. To talk and communicate—all of these which this video makes a point of.
But there are those who are willing to put in the effort, who are eager to repair and save their marriage because of love. If you are in such a couple, then please keep reading and learn what you can do to reconcile with your partner.
Communication, Speak Your Mind, and Accept Each Other’s Feelings
One of the oldest and go-to suggestions is to communicate openly with your partner. It is where every troubled or even not troubled relationship should start and should make a point to keep doing. Relationships, not only romantic ones, can be messy and challenging at times because they are complex.
It is this complexity that makes them so meaningful. But because they are complex, we often shy away from discussing what is really bothering us, what we want to say but do not for fear of being shut down, of starting a fight, of hurting someone.
Even though it can be scary to do, you still must do it. It is important to let go of those negative emotions you keep chained within before they begin to fester. After all, how can you begin to save a marriage if neither of you is willing to make yourself vulnerable and to say what makes you unhappy?
Go to Therapy – Couples and Alone
In times like these, it is a good idea to find a mediator who can help and give you and your partner the tools you both need to open yourself up. While therapy might be a contentious decision for dozens of couples, it is still an important and powerful tool.
A good therapist will provide you with an unbiased and unjudging guide who is there to help you both repair that which needs repairing in an environment that is safe and neutral to both. While you both need to go to couple’s therapy, some might feel hesitant about doing so.
Reasons could be either because you are unready to face the situation or because the setting feels too intimidating. For this reason, it is also important that you both attend private therapy sessions for yourselves. So, you can work on yourself first, piece by piece, allowing you to feel more in the present when you both meet for therapy.
Lastly, it is crucial to remember that psychologists and therapists are not miracle workers. They are not engineers or medical doctors who can look at you, write something down, and fix the problem right there and then. They are there to provide you with the tools, the environment, and the helping hand you need to resolve your own problems.
No amount of therapy, interventions, or changes can happen if you are unwilling to put the work in. Therapy only works if you both are willing to do this and committed to doing it.
Do Not Make Reckless Decisions to Fix Your Marriage
The prospect of divorce is an immensely psychological and emotionally stressful decision to endure. It’s a source of distress that is so strong that it can often lead individuals or couples to make rash and ill-thought decisions out of desperation.
The most common, sadly enough, is to have a baby in the hopes that it and the experience will rekindle their bond. Such a decision is unwise because having and bringing a child into this world is a stressful and monumentally important commitment.
Furthermore, neither partner has addressed the troubles they are having in the relationship. The child ends up becoming a veil to cover and swipe away these unresolved issues, but they are still unresolved and will put their relationship in jeopardy again and sooner than they would imagine.
Give Them Time and Space
Besides opening and facilitating proper communication or going to therapy, another essential thing you can do is to give each other space. This might frighten most couples because it creates the perception that the relationship is really in trouble.
Separation might finally convince your partner that they do not want to continue the relationship. But it would be best if you did it. You must put the fear aside, be calm and speak to each other in agreement that this time apart is so you both can think about what you want in the relationship and what you mean to each other.
Make Time for Each Other – Do Things Together
Once you have started to do all this and are back in each other’s lives, the next step is to make time for and with each other. It’s important to spend time together and to do something that you will enjoy doing. Love is about doing and experiencing life which is what we all need to uplift ourselves.
Try to bring some happiness back into your lives and create new memories. Doing this will also remind you why you both enjoy each other’s company. It will remind you both why you fell in love.
Love and life are complex emotions and phenomena that make us human. Yet they, are in turn, so complex because we are human. It is a celebration of this fact that makes it so powerful, whether it is a platonic, familial, or romantic love. This fact makes it something to keep fighting for, something that you and your partner can hopefully now strive towards armed with the suggestions and guidance that this article hopefully provided.