If your marriage has seen better days, you may be tempted to just throw in the towel and call it quits.
However, for most people, so much time and effort have been spent creating the perfect marriage. So much love and emotion are involved that giving up is not an option.
And let’s face it, you married that person for a reason, so chances are that you still love them.
People drift apart, and they make mistakes. This is the way life is, and it is human nature.
That said, just because your marriage is on the rocks doesn’t mean that it’s over. If you still see even the smallest glimmer of hope, you shouldn’t call it quits just yet.
Here we have some great tips on how to save your marriage and how to bring back that spark.
How to Save Your Marriage
Mapping it Out – Creating Direction
One reason why marriages begin to fail is a lack of direction and a sense of purpose. When marriages first start, both parties know exactly why they married the other person.
There is a spark, a certain amount of passion present. However, as the years go on, people start to lose that spark, and they might forget why they married their partner in the first place.
Therefore, a good idea might be to create a map, so to speak. You and your partner should write down how you felt when you first got married, what you liked about your partner when you first got married, and what your plans and goals were then.
Then, once you have the past figured out, try to figure out the future. Create a plan, write down your goals and dreams, and write down where you see the marriage being in 5, 10, and 20 years.
Marriages often get stale and boring, and people often stop showing as much emotion as the years go on.
Therefore, creating a plan for the future while also remembering all of the reasons why you two married in the first place might be enough to save the marriage.
Simply put, if you know that your marriage is going somewhere, that there is a plan, and the potential for new and exciting things, it can really reinvigorate a marriage.
Keep it Interesting Between the Sheets
As you might know from popular TV sitcoms, once men and women have been married for a few years, they stop having sex.
Well, it might not be as extreme as TV makes it out to be, but nonetheless, as marriages advance, the sex life can grow stale. People might lose interest a little bit or just get bored with the same routine every time.
Emotions are an essential part of a healthy marriage, but so is a healthy sex life. If you two are feeling bored, try to change things up a bit.
No, we aren’t going to start making specific suggestions. Still, there are some really cool and kinky things that married couples can do in the privacy of their bedrooms.
Role-playing is one thing that can reinvigorate a marriage’s failing sex life. Sometimes a bit of excitement and naughtiness is all it takes to save a marriage that has gone stale.
Marriages sometimes fail because one of the two parties might feel like they do too much work and have too much responsibility. This often goes back to the days when men were the breadwinners and women were the housekeepers. However, times have changed, and gender roles are no longer relevant.
Men can do everything women can do, and women can do everything that men can do.
So, how does your marriage look in this regard? Do you have a wife who stays home all day cooking and cleaning but might really like to try her hand at a career? Do you have a wife that does all of the housework while you watch the game?
We don’t mean to stereotype or pigeonhole here, but the fact of the matter is that it is usually the men who are guilty of this.
However, this is not to say that women can’t be guilty of it too. So, to save your marriage, it might be as simple as dividing up responsibilities and chores more fairly so that both partners share an equal load of the work.
If you and your partner feel like you are doing equal shares of the work, it’s much easier to get along. People can tire of being the only one to do the dishes for a decade.
It might seem like a small thing, but those little things snowball and turn into resentments as the years go on.
Communication is Key
Yet another thing that you can do to save your marriage is to simply talk. Yes, talking is something that our bodies allow us to do, but our brains often get in the way, as is often the case. Women are usually better at sharing their emotions and feelings than men are.
However, as marriages go on, both men and women tend to communicate less and less.
If you and your partner are drifting apart, saving the marriage might be as easy as communicating openly with each other.
As the years go on, married couples often repress their emotions just to avoid a fight.
However, pushing feelings down inside of us is not good. It often leads to those emotions boiling over at some point, usually in an epic explosion of anger.
Whether the marriage is 2, 20, or 60 years old, communication is always vital. You need to tell your partner how you feel and what you expect of them, and vice versa.
You must be willing to take action when your partner communicates with you. If you check out the marriage healing program “Mend the Marriage,” you will quickly figure out that communication is one of the most important actions.
If you plan on saving your marriage, communication is only half of the equation.
If your partner tells you something, maybe something like they don’t appreciate how you always put your dirty laundry on the floor instead of in the hamper. Still, you don’t actually change anything; the communication was wasted.
While communication is essential, both parties in a marriage must be willing to take action. As they say, talk is cheap, and talk alone gets nothing done.
Therefore, when issues arise, partners in a marriage must be willing to solve a problem.
If your wife has a problem with the number of beers you drink, simply acknowledging her won’t help. You actually have to cut back. You have to walk the walk, not just talk the talk.
Sometimes, to truly save your marriage, you need to develop a different mindset altogether that will allow you to become the person your spouse deserves and the partner you want to be.
Plan a Weekly Date
If you have been married for a while, and life has turned into just going to and from work, getting the kids from school, changing diapers, eating dinner, sleeping, and repeating it all over again, things have grown stale.
More often than not, people who have been married for some years are just going through the motions.
It doesn’t mean that the two people don’t love each other anymore—just that they’ve gotten so ingrained in their daily responsibilities and chores that they have forgotten how to live life and enjoy each other.
Therefore, an excellent way to save a marriage is to spend time together again—not time spend doing chores—time spent having fun and bonding.
Plan a weekly date so you and your partner can rekindle the romance. Sometimes a little bit of quality time is all it takes to fix things.
Partners who have been married for years often stop showing affection, at least not as much as at the beginning of the marriage.
After a while, this can make it feel as though your partner is no longer interested in you or doesn’t think that you are attractive.
We all want to feel beautiful and attractive, and we all want to feel loved and needed. Physical contact is a big part of this, and here we aren’t talking about sex.
Simple things like hugs, handholding, and cuddling are all great ways to show physical affection.
Sometimes, that is all that someone needs to feel loved and appreciated. A little hug can go a really long way. If you check out the “Mend the Marriage” program online, you will see that it is often the smallest thing that makes the most significant difference.
These are some steps that should help you before you get to a step where you need to actually stop a divorce.
Interested in learning about how you can use successful couple’s secrets to help you? Check out Brad Browning’s program below.
…Did you read this article too late? If you want your ex back, check out these ways to rekindle love after a divorce.