How to Spice up a Long Distance Relationship

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Maintaining a healthy relationship can be a handful, even if in the constant presence of your significant other. When the possibility of your relationship becoming a long-distance one becomes a reality, it may be easy to feel that this is a deal-breaker. But is it?

Whether it’s for a few months or the foreseeable future, many couples do make it work. Naturally, losing intimacy can become (or already is) a concern. And trying to “be sexual” over the phone or video can feel awkward and become unenjoyable. One of the main reasons for this is that couples try to force the result and end up quitting.

It’s easy to forget that intimacy develops from more than just sex, and improving the spice in your long-distance relationship cannot rely solely on just explicit acts. It requires maintaining trust, good communication, and creating romance to allow the more physical aspects to come more naturally. Let’s unravel the secrets to help keep the light burning brightly no matter how far apart you are.

Date Night

Let’s start slowly. As mentioned, some important aspects of spicing up your long-distance relationship are maintaining your closeness and creating romance. During the Covid-19 pandemic, millions of couples around the world had to become used to relying on technology to keep their relationship going.

One such way was by cooking dinner, dressing up, and going on a virtual date with your partner, albeit over a video call. Treat this like you would a real date. Make it more intimate by adding candles and be sure to pay attention to your partner and avoid all distractions.

Find Common Hobbies

Playing games, reading the same book, listening to the same playlists, and following the same TV series are just a few examples you and your partner can enjoy together. It gives you things to talk about and share more than a physical level. And again, it enhances the comfort level over electronic means of communication.

Keep In Contact

Above all else, communication is the most important part of successfully navigating a long-distance relationship. This means it’s important to remind your partner that they are in your thoughts. Snap those selfies and share your day’s events with your partner with a picture of you rather than just telling them where you are. Share a cute post or a funny meme. These gestures can go a long way to settling any anxieties your partner may have and allows you to have a little fun too.

Set Basic Rules for Communication

Although communication is vital, it’s also easy to break down, especially if you’re in significantly different time zones. In an attempt to maximize the time you have, try setting clear expectations or a schedule relating to how and when you will definitely make time for each other. Here are some considerations:

  • Set expectations – Discuss and agree on how many contacts you and your partner can realistically afford to allocate to speak or “e-meet”, as well as how frequently. This needs to be acceptable for both of you to avoid conflict.
  • Share calendars – This will also give your partner an indication of when you will be free if they just want to catch up or chat for a bit. You may even consider drawing up a joint calendar for both your spare times.
  • Live up to the expectation – Respect each other’s time. Bailing on a date can easily lead the mind to wonder about silly thoughts.
  • Don’t share your attention – If you must do something else at the same time, see if you can fit your partner into it. They may be able to help, and it will make them feel important.
couple on platform at the train station

Romantic Gestures

Nothing reminds someone how much they mean to you more than a thoughtful gesture. It’s often not the thing but the thought that counts. Here are some things you could do:

  • Surprise each other – Send them a gift or, better yet, plan an unexpected visit. A great idea is to purchase something for both of you for the future, such as an event ticket. This gives both of you something to look forward to.
  • Be extra – That’s right, don’t be afraid to go above and beyond your norm. Nothing is more intimate and romantic than knowing that somebody did all this just for you! A great example is sending your partner a hand-written letter. While a text may do the job, it’s the effort put into expressing your feeling on paper that will resonate.
  • Create a relationship bucket list – Similar to the event tickets mentioned earlier, a bucket list shows your commitment to the long-term and builds trust and security.

Turn up the Heat

As you’ve probably realized by now, there is a lot more that can be done in a non-sexual manner to spice up your long-distance relationship, but there’s still a need to express your physical longing for your partner. This will be made easier if you’ve already completed some of the actions mentioned above because your comfort level with your partner over the phone/screen will be much greater. Below are a few ideas to help you turn the heat up:

  • Bring back the old-fashioned way – Jumping straight into a steamy video call can be nerve-wracking. Why not try a good old-fashioned phone call? This will allow you to feel your way into the conversation and not feel too self-conscious while doing so.
  • Harness the power of the Smartphone – The internet, mobile phone manufacturers, and social media have changed the way people communicate. Together, they have made it possible to spend quality face-to-face time with your partner, which would otherwise have been sacrificed many years ago. A deep face-to-face conversation can lead to anything so let whatever comes naturally happen. Don’t be afraid to put on a show if you feel the need. (Wink, wink).
  • Play from a distance – Technology has made it further possible to pleasure your partner without your physical touch. If you really want to spice things up, consider a Bluetooth sex toy. Yes, they do exist! You can place one on and your partner can connect to it via an app and control the device. Let your imagination run wild and enjoy each other as though you were in each other’s presence.
  • Prioritize meeting up – And be sure you don’t waste a moment of it. Let your partner know exactly how much you miss them when you do see them and leave them looking forward to the next time as much as you are.


Long-distance can be one of the greatest tests a relationship can be put through. Despite this, many people have successfully managed to survive the test and find ways to fill the void that your partner’s absence brings with it. If you feel that the relationship is starting to become dull and requires some spicing up, you should bear in mind that most of what you can do about it is not entirely sexual in nature.

Being able to communicate openly about anything, whether sexual or not, is the most important element because this will build your comfort levels even while being so far apart. Once you’re comfortable being apart and understand what’s expected from each other, the concerns of separation start to diminish, and that’s when you can really turn up the heat behind closed doors.

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