You have been married for quite some time, and the initial spark is gone. Maybe you did something to hurt your wife or to lose her trust.
Infidelity happens in marriages, and the longer the marriage goes on, the more likely it is to happen.
As a husband, you aren’t immune to making mistakes, big ones. These things happen, and although it is unfortunate, it is reality.
If you have done something to lose your wife’s trust in you, or if you have just lost that spark, here are some things you can do to on how to win your wife back, to make things feel the way they did when you first got married.
How to Win Your Wife Back
Ask and Communicate
Although this may seem too direct, communication and talking are often the most important and crucial things you can do.
If you feel like your wife is slipping away from you, ask her why. Ask her how she feels and why she feels the way she does. Is there is anything you can do, anything you can change or alter, or anything you can improve about yourself or the marriage?
People drift apart, and many marriages fail because of a simple lack of open and transparent communication—mostly due to a lack of listening.
If you ask your wife what you can do to win her back, to really get her reinvested in the marriage, it will show her that you care and willing to make the needed changes to keep her.
It is also important that if your wife tells you a problem she has with you, you do not get mad or offended. It might hurt, but you being hurt won’t help to win her back.
Yes, the truth hurts, and if you expect to win your wife back, you need to hear that truth, and you also y need to accept it.
Support Her Goals and Let Her Be Independent
Marriages fail, and people drift apart because partners don’t respect or realize each other’s goals and aspirations. This might have something to do with how marriages were viewed several decades ago, with a man being the breadwinner and the woman being the housewife.
However, times have changed, and what this means is that women are now independent; they are strong, and they don’t need a man to tell them what to do.
From a man’s perspective, if your wife has goals or dreams, shooting them down or criticizing them may be your way of trying to protect her and keep her safe. However, in reality, all you are doing is holding her back.
Suppose you want to win your wife back. In that case, you need to show her that she matters, that her goals and aspirations matter, and most important of all, that you are willing to support her in whatever endeavors she undertakes.
Wives often feel their dreams don’t matter, so if you want your wife back, you need to make it clear that you will support her no matter what.
Give Her Space – Show Her You Can Survive on Your Own
A wife may get tired of her husband because he often relies on his wife for even the smallest things.
A woman wants to feel needed. However, feeling needed is very different from being counted on to do everything, whether ironing laundry, picking up dry cleaning, making sure dinner is on the table or whatever else.
Women get real tired of this real quick. They want an independent man who is reasonable and can take care of himself, a real partner in life, not just another child that needs taking care of. Therefore, show her that you can make it on your own.
Do your laundry, pick up the groceries, and cook dinner, then do the dishes, and anything else.
A woman likes a man to be independent; she doesn’t want you to rely on her for every little thing, especially the menial stuff you should be doing on your own.
Women get tired of hearing, “why don’t I have any clean socks?!?” In essence, you need to show your wife that you want her in your life because you love her, not because you need her to wash and fold your laundry.
Space is Key – Desperation is a Turnoff
If you are trying to win your wife back, one of the worst things you can do is smother her and act desperate. Nobody likes desperation—it’s really not attractive in the least. The more you try to smother your wife with attention, or otherwise, it will likely drive her away just that much more.
Think about it, marriages involve living with the same person day in and day out. Sometimes all people need is a bit of space.
If your wife already feels like she needs a bit of freedom and independence, smothering her with calls, texts, and whatever else won’t help your case. Don’t act desperate; give it some time, and give her some space.
Often, when married people spend time apart, they come to realize just how much their partner means to them and how much they miss them.
Sometimes a bit of space and time is all it takes. This is something that the renowned marriage coach Brad Browning lays out for men in his breakthrough online course “Mend the Marriage”.
Work on Yourself
If you need to win your own wife back because of your behavior and attitude, you obviously need to work on yourself.
Whatever the problem is, your wife needs to see that you are willing to change. If you want to win her back, changing your behavior is a start. There is no chance of winning her back if you don’t change the things that drove her away in the first place.
We don’t like to blame ourselves or take responsibility for this kind of thing. However, in a marriage, both parties are usually at fault to some degree.
If you are unwilling to accept at least a part of the blame, winning your wife back becomes impossible.
A Grand Gesture Might Help
Grand gestures are usually things best left for romance movies. That said, if your marriage is really on its last legs, you might not have anything to lose. A grand gesture might be what your wife needs to realize that you really still love her.
Share Your Feelings Too
Finally, men often don’t share feelings, and it is precisely this that causes women to drift away. Women want men who are emotionally mature and available.
If you never share your emotions with your wife, how can she really trust you? If you want to win her back, you need to work on your emotional maturity and communicate your feelings.
Winning your wife back may not be easy, but it is doable. Of course, every marriage is different, but there are many things that you can do to bring the love of your life back to your side.
If all else fails, you might want to try a coaching program like “Mend the Marriage,” a marriage help program with proven real results.