Even with a lovely house, regular maintenance is essential to keep it in good condition. So is the case with marriages. You need frequent reassurance to keep the connection strong or reconnect with your spouse emotionally.
Sometimes, married couples experience turns in their romantic relationships, especially when decisive things like pregnancy, career issues, family events, and even health issues arise.
At such moments, they may have many unspoken thoughts and might fail to share their feelings effectively. An unwanted gap then opens up between them, and if it keeps widening, it can lead to emotional disconnection.
To prevent such a situation, couples must know how to reconnect with their spouses and rekindle their emotional intimacy for a healthier marriage.
However, emotional reconnection is not a simple task. It’s a lifelong effort because, at times, emotions do not last; they come and go. Every relationship has its ups and downs, which calls for the necessity of a connection in marriage in every stage of life.
If you have no idea how to do it, here are some helpful tips to help with reconnection for intimacy in marriage, which brings back the deprived sense of security.
1. Use Healing Words
Do you recall the tone you used on your spouse when you first fell in love or during the initial days of your marriage? Instead of waiting for your partner to introduce this language into your emotionally derailed relationship, be the initiator. Rekindle that habit of love. It’s only you who can light up your partner more than anyone else.
Your compliments and praises can’t compare to anyone else’s. Your spouse holds your pride in them higher than they do their mother’s or children’s. They want to see, hear, and be assured of the love you have for them.
By talking to your spouse, you build and light them up, healing any broken parts in their hearts. The parts that were already closing up will begin to open up.
2. Work Together, Help Each other
As a wife, your husband depends on you as the helper, teammate, and supporter. Psychology says that husbands need wife support just like someone experiencing breathlessness needs life support.
Similarly, every wife craves their husband’s help, too, not to necessarily solve her problems, but to listen to her and talk through the issues while providing emotional support and acknowledging her feelings. Sometimes during the arguments in marriage, all your wife needs is help with the kids and simple house chores, especially if she is a career woman working long hours.
Asking your spouse how you can help presents an excellent chance to rekindle your mutual emotions, saving you both from the hectic lives you could be leading. Note that reconnecting doesn’t always happen with long talks and deep conversations. Instead, try to read your partner’s love language, which occurs when you’re helping them out, giving a supportive shoulder, and encouraging them.
3. Try to Know Your Spouse More
The more you seek to know each other, the more you connect and get closer to your spouse’s heart. There is a tendency in marriage to think we know enough about our spouses until we’re not curious anymore.
This is not the way. Be the curious partner. The joys in marriage come when you keep learning new things about your spouse. Ask her what she’s thinking, what is his bucket list, how have her dreams and goals evolved in the past couple of years or months? Inquire about their childhood memories with grandparents and parents.
Knowing more about your spouse helps you be of the same minds and love and have a similar degree of emotions.
4. Honesty
If you are struggling to reconnect your disconnected marriage, consider honesty. Honesty makes a marriage more assertive and is a crucial backbone for a healthy relationship. By being honest, you build a strong emotional connection that goes for ages.
Tell the truth and keep it real. Reconnecting is easy when there is love, but you can easily disconnect a second time if you lack honesty, which will get you to the no-return point.
Honesty is worth it for a quick resolution of problems. However, if there is a problem, seek help from a family therapist.
5. Cultivate Peace and Happiness
Being a peacemaker goes a long way in ensuring your emotionally tattered marriage is back on track.
We should strive to be peacemakers and keep in mind that our spouses are not our enemies but teammates. It would be best to work together to get through whatever causes the pain to any of us. We are advised to live at peace with everyone, and that should include your spouse.
Make an effort to create peace regardless of how personal the offense might be, alerting your spouse that you seek to reconnect in love.
6. Quality time
Intelligent couples know that quality time does not always mean that you talk things through. Too much talk can easily break the emotional connection and intimacy in marriage.
If your partner is fuming or has an emotional breakdown, let them be alone in the room or allow them alone time in a different room until past the phase. Don’t fight with them, as this can worsen the situation for both spouses. If they are in a bad mood, snuggle up and take them for dinner, watch a movie, or play your favorite songs as a couple.
Take a drive and spend the night in a hotel room away from home. Quality time is meant for intimate encounters if you want to reconnect emotionally with your spouse.
7. Listen, Please!
According to psychology, 75% of what is spoken passes our ears unheard. This percentage can be greater if we are overly preoccupied with cellphones, computers, and other distractions.
Are you experiencing emotional neglect in marriage?
Here is a tip. When your partner is speaking, give them your undivided attention and look them in the face to display sincerity. If you held your phone before they started talking, ensure they see you turning it off so that you deliberately accord them your undivided attention.
Attention and having meaningful conversations in your everyday life is a massive leap towards reconnecting emotionally in a marriage or a relationship.
FAQs
What is emotional intimacy, and why does it matter?
Emotional intimacy in marriage goes beyond sexual intimacy because a sexual connection can occur with or without emotional connections. Emotional intimacy is defined by the degree of trust, communication, romance, love, and trust in a partner. It’s essential for a healthy marriage and keeps marriages strong and thriving. Without emotional intimacy, the concept of marriage would then be senseless.
Why is reconnecting with your husband/wife essential?
A lot goes on in a marriage which can cause conflicts and strain in a relationship. Reconnecting with your spouse is a sure way to release whatever burdens your heart and compels forgiveness. It deepens the intimacy and connection between partners and provides a comfortable environment for communication.
How do you reconnect with your spouse emotionally?
To reconnect with your spouse, you need trust, honesty, and transparency about your emotions. You have to let them know about things that trouble your mind and heart, and don’t forget to give them space when they need it.
What can I say to my husband to reconnect?
Say thank you for the little things he does for you. Constantly reassure him of your love and support. Compliment his style and tell him how good-looking he is. Let him know that he is your best friend and you are in love with him now more than ever. Normalize apologizing, and don’t hesitate to show your undying love for him through physical intimacy like kisses, hugs, and sex.
How do you reconnect with your spouse after separation?
Look for positive things about your spouse. Encourage them and say good things about them, and always look for humor to stay happy. Have moments of distraction like taking a walk or going to the movies. Also, use non-verbal cues to communicate affection, for example giving him an intimate hug, a pat on his hand, or holding hands when walking.