Relationships aren’t always a walk in the park and they can be very challenging at times. Sometimes we need a friendly ear when things are tough. Sharing your latest love drama with friends comes naturally because we trust our friends to have our best interests at heart.
Airing our issues might make us feel better, but should we be listening when our friends start offering advice about our relationships? Keep reading to find out.
- Should You Listen to Your Friends Relationship Advice?
- What Should I Do When Love Gets Tough?
- Should I Be Working With My Partner?
Should You Listen to Your Friends Relationship Advice?
Every relationship has times where the romance seems rocky. It feels like the natural and intelligent thing to ask our closest friends for advice, but there are several reasons why this isn’t always the best idea. Here are a few reasons why you shouldn’t be listening to your friends’ relationship advice.
Your Friends Don’t Know All the Ins and Outs of Your Relationship
No matter how close you and your best friend are, there will be some aspects of your relationship that you haven’t shared with your friend yet. Whether you have overlooked details or just left them out, your friend won’t know the complete details of your relationship.
Therefore, if you ask your friend for relationship advice, you ask for advice from someone who doesn’t fully understand the situation or has all the relevant facts. In addition, your friend might have made an assumption about your partner or your relationship that isn’t accurate or fair, which will influence the advice given.
Their Own Issues Might Cloud Their Opinion of your Relationship
Everyone has their own baggage, and we might not always realize it when our friends come across as very well-balanced. For example, friends who have gone through a bitter divorce might seem logical choices to avoid relationship advice, but other friends’ opinions might reflect their own past experiences.
This might mean that you take advice from someone who bases their opinion on something personal to themselves, instead of your own predicament. They aren’t as invested in the relationship as you are, so they won’t give it as much thought before offering their advice.
No one is as invested in a relationship as the two people in it. Therefore, regardless of how close you and your best friend are, it is only normal for your best friend to care less about your relationship than you do. Of course, that doesn’t mean that your friend isn’t a good friend, but you’re the person in the relationship.
The emotional investment that you have in your relationship differs from that of your friends, so it is crucial to keep that in mind. It might be much easier for someone who isn’t involved with your partner to suggest pulling the plug, and listening to that advice might be something you end up regretting.
Your Friends Tell You What You Want to Hear
Most of us have been in the position where a friend asks us for advice and we know exactly what they want to hear. But, unfortunately, friends who have kind hearts and mean well will be tempted to tell you what you want to hear instead of telling you what you need to hear. Therefore their advice won’t be accurate.
Your friend’s advice might be too optimistic because they fear that telling you what they really think might hurt your feelings or upset you. It is also possible that they feel differently about your relationship for reasons you aren’t even aware of, which might also influence their opinion.
They Might See Relationships Differently Than You Do
Taking relationship advice from friends is tricky because you don’t know if you have the same assumptions about relationships and values. Taking advice from someone who doesn’t share the same values or ideas about relationships means you are opening yourself to be influenced by someone who doesn’t have the same perspective.
For example, if your friend requires a lot of one-on-one time with a partner, your friend might easily say something is wrong in your relationship if you have a more independent approach. What might be a better fit in a relationship for you might not be that for your friend, which might influence the given advice.
Talk to Your Friends, but Listen to Your Heart
Although our friends can be a great source of support in our lives, it is essential to consider these points before taking their advice about your relationship. It is imperative to trust your gut feelings regarding relationships and be confident enough to value your own opinion, too.
What Should I Do When Love Gets Tough?
Unfortunately, there is no instruction manual on what to do when your love life is on the rocks. No one has the correct method for making relationships smooth and easy. Instead, we face challenges and we need to work through them.
The good news is that there are ways to deal with challenges in your relationship. Relationships don’t come easy, and it is vital to remember that. When your relationship is going through a bad spell, here are some tips on working through it.
Stay focused on self-care
Relationship issues can be exhausting and they most definitely take a toll on us emotionally and mentally. Whether your relationship quarrels are tiny or massive, they can have an enormous effect on our lives. Self-care is always important and it is crucial to take care of yourself when things are tough.
By building the stepping stone of self-care into your daily routine, you make yourself more equipped to deal with stress and conflict. If you are better able to handle stress and conflict, you might work through your issues more efficiently.
If you are stressed and overly emotional, this can add extra problems to your already struggling relationship. Instead, if you focus on your health and happiness, that balance will make things easier for you and your relationship. Here are a few things you can incorporate into your daily routine as part of your self-care:
- express yourself with music, a journal, or art
- stay active and spend time in nature
- set goals for yourself and celebrate when you reach them
- be kind to yourself
- do things that you love or find new hobbies
- connect with other people with the help of sports, hobbies, clubs, or an online community
- make enough time to sleep
- follow a healthy diet
- cut down on alcohol and drugs
- spend time with family and friends
Find Someone You Can Trust and Talk to Them
Going through relationship struggles can make you feel very lonely. If you feel lonely and need to reach out to someone to talk about it, you can consider seeing a professional. Alternatively, there are various excellent relationship therapists online who can listen and guide you through your feelings.
These professionals are objective because they have never met you or your partner, and most of the time, getting some objective insights into your relationship can be very valuable. Nothing comes close to Mend the Marriage‘s advice and support when it comes to fantastic online support. You can get the best advice to help you work through your challenges in the comfort of your own home.
Should I Be Working With My Partner?
When things are tough, you and your partner should be tackling the issues as a team. You can’t fix a relationship by yourself since there are two of you. Therefore, you and your partner need to get on the same page and solve your problems together. Here are a few tips for working through your issues together.
Talk to Each Other
Every relationship has unique challenges. Talking to your partner about how you are feeling is essential if you want to work through things. It might be an overwhelming thought to start talking about things, but it is needed. If you are unsure about how to start the conversation, imagine yourself and your partner talking first.
Think about everything you need to say and write it down if you need to. It is essential to communicate effectively and to stay on topic. Discuss the issues at hand and avoid dragging up things that happened in the past. You are trying to secure a future after all. It is also important to play nice.
When you have said your piece, allow your partner the same benefits. Sit back and listen to your partner. Don’t get angry, defensive, or mean. It is crucial that your partner feels secure and safe to speak freely. Allow your partner to finish speaking before responding.
If you get upset or angry, take a break and continue when you have cooled off. It won’t help to try to talk about things if you are mad or upset because things that are said in anger can’t be taken back.
If you have already watched the fantastic advice from Mend the Marriage, you can introduce it to your partner, too. Give your partner time to watch the video and then discuss the advice that you received. Their phenomenal team is here to help.
Respect the Fact That You Aren’t the Same Person
No two people are the same, and it is essential to remember that in a relationship. Respecting your differences is critical in a relationship. Friction can easily be caused by differences in opinion, culture, or religion, but the friction doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship. Don’t ignore the differences. Instead, make an effort to embrace and respect your differences.
Take Time if You Need to
Sometimes a break can be a blessing in a relationship. Taking a step back and reassessing things can put everything in perspective. Taking time apart doesn’t mean your relationship has reached its end. On the contrary, it means you are serious enough to take the necessary time to think about things.
It isn’t always sunshine and roses when it comes to getting old with the one you love. It is only natural for a relationship to have good times and bad times. However, working with your partner and getting help from fantastic professionals like Mend the Marriage makes it possible for love to win.