When to be Submissive in your Marriage

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The concept of marriage as a union between two people is believed to have existed well before recorded history. Marriage is a beautiful communion that is based on love, trust, respect, care, and loyalty. The lifelong commitment promised by husband and wife to each other requires an active role by both parties. Sadly, more and more marriages are ending prematurely, and divorce is rampant in the modern world.

The solemn words once shared by a loving couple ready to begin an exciting journey end up as an echo of the past. Minor disagreements turn into petty arguments, petty arguments turn into full-scale confrontations, and before they know it, the flame of passion and love has died out.

Perhaps the greatest tragedy in such cases is how both people fail to realize that their marriage can be redeemed. The biggest culprit is often ego and the conviction of one’s position in the matter. People tend to forget that marriage is not something that just persists on its own. It is not a service-free machine that requires no maintenance.

Instead, marriage, like any other relationship, has its ups and downs. It requires sincere effort from both parties, and disagreements are inevitable. How you navigate through those disagreements is what matters the most, and above all, each spouse needs to be willing to submit to one’s partner while keeping one’s head up high at the same time.

When to be Submissive in your Marriage

Submission in Marriage — What Does it Mean?

I know it sounds odd at first glance. After all, it is the 21st century, and we have come a long way in matters of independence and self-autonomy. What place does the concept of “submission” have in the modern world?

Firstly, you wouldn’t be wrong to pick up on the negative connotation associated with the word. Popular media have demonized the word to the extent that images of helpless and battered women spring into mind whenever one hears it. However, what if I were to tell you that a submissive role on the wife’s part doesn’t have to be a demeaning thing?

Instead, it can be a sign of strength when done correctly and may actually indicate maturity.

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Being a submissive wife in this sense simply means to interact with your husband in a way that is conducive to your marriage’s overall wellbeing. It doesn’t mean that the wife is the subject and the husband a tyrant. Instead, as a wife, you place your trust and confidence in your husband as the household leader.

By nature, men are programmed to be dominant, and again, while it may sound old school and taboo-ish, it doesn’t mean they can do whatever they want. On the contrary, a dominant husband will welcome his submissive wife with an open heart and shower her with love when he sees her assume her submissive role.

How Does It Benefit a Failing Marriage?

To answer this question, let’s first address what lies at the core of most failed marriages. I think most people would agree that if you take out the major culprits like abuse and infidelity, the most common reason that a marriage is on the brink of divorce is some type of disagreement.

Indeed, you may think disagreement is a minuscule problem. How can it possibly ruin a marriage? If we take a closer look, it is not difficult to see that the roots of failure lie deep within disagreements. Of course, no one can be so naïve as to suggest that it happens overnight. Nor does a harmless disagreement like failing to decide on a restaurant mean instant divorce.

However, if small disagreements persist and become a pattern, they certainly lead to more serious problems, and before you know it, the marriage is in shambles.

It is important to understand that a disagreement isn’t the end of the world. Often, it is the conviction of both people’s opinions that turn into a relentless cycle of fighting and arguments. A submissive wife realizes that, in order to calm the tension, it is acceptable to place her confidence in her husband’s decision.

She embraces her role as his confidant, well-wisher, and advisor, and she supports that whatever he settles on is for the greater good. Of course, it goes without saying that his decisions should be within reason. In instances where the leader abuses his role, he should be made aware of it calmly and in a rational tone.

On the other hand, a husband should be aware of his role as the provider and shouldn’t break his wife’s trust. Instead, he should shower her with love and attention. He should respect her voice and welcome sound advice on matters that concern both parties.

This dynamic of a leader and an advisor is what is crucial to the wellbeing of a marriage. It discourages conflict, fights, and arguments, and it nurtures an environment of peace, love, and trust.

Hence, a marriage based on such a foundation can stand the test of time. It won’t crumble like a house of cards, as both parties understand their respective roles, duties, and responsibilities.

How to Be a Submissive Wife

There are certain things that are paramount for submissive wives to understand and implement. The critical thing to remember is that an attitude of submission is not synonymous with servility. Let’s look at the key factors involved in being a submissive wife.

Recognize His Authority

A key aspect to marital submission is realizing your husband’s role as the leader of the house. An institution only works well when it has a clear hierarchy. There needs to be a person in the driver’s seat who chooses the course and makes decisions for the betterment of the company.

Marriage is the same way. A husband who assumes a dominant role needs the support and trust of his wife. He needs to know that his wife is standing right behind him, ready to support and be a helper. This sort of arrangement is also relieving for the wife, as it takes away many of the responsibilities associated with managing big decisions. Life as a mother and a wife is stressful enough. You need to be able to take the back seat and let your husband guide the ship.

Become His Support System

Since your husband will do most of the work outside to support the family financially, it is normal for him to vent now and then. If he comes home from a hard day of work, lend him an ear and listen and understand. This will make him feel relaxed and will allow him to bond with you at the same time.

However, try not to challenge his notions at this time, as that would only add to his stress. Instead, listen and respond with constructive dialogue to help him ease the tension.

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Voice Your Opinions But Respect His Decision

There will be moments when you feel that you should speak up during decision-making. This is entirely normal and is a part of a healthy marriage. As a submissive wife, you are not barred from voicing your opinions. On the contrary, you should chime in whenever you think it is vital for you to give your input. However, the important thing is that you don’t do so in a confrontational manner.

Instead, try to be calm yet assertive, and always try to know how much is too much. If you sense the conversation is about to derail, offer him some leeway and instill confidence in him. However, once he is made aware of your opinions, it is essential that you let him make the final decision as the leader.

Husband’s Responsibilities as the Leader

As the dominant partner, it is very important to understand what your role consists of in the marriage. Above all, it is pertinent that you don’t abuse your position and instead offer understanding, care, and love while fulfilling your duties.

Authority Shouldn’t Equate to Abuse

As the husband in marriage, you need to be cognizant to never break your wife’s trust by lashing out or harming her in any way. Understand that your authority is based on mutual trust, and if you abuse this relationship, your wife will grow distant.

Instead, it is paramount that you respect her heart of submission and play the role of a wise leader. You need to maintain her trust and shower her with kindness and love in exchange for her submission.

Try to Be Accommodating

Your wife also wants to be heard and respected the same way you want to. If you want her to be a support system for you, you also need to accommodate her opinions. Listen to her when she gives her opinion and sincerely consider her opinion’s merit. Your final decision should take her concerns into account. She shouldn’t feel neglected.


What does a woman being submissive mean?

A submissive woman acknowledges her husband’s position in the hierarchy as the leader. She embraces her role as the supporter and confidant and places her trust in her husband. Such a wife works to create a loving and peaceful home and avoids conflict and unnecessary arguments for the betterment of the marriage.

Must a woman obey and be submissive to her husband or not?

Blind servitude is not what being submissive is about. While obeying your husband is part of the dynamic, the merit of command is what should dictate obedience. A husband should be considerate enough not to make unreasonable demands. If a wife feels that the husband is unreasonable, she should approach him with dignity but should also know when to back down.

Is a marriage successful if the woman has to be submissive to avoid marital problems?

Yes, a marriage is successful when the woman assumes a submissive role in the marriage. However, it shouldn’t be viewed only as a way to avoid marital problems. Instead, that part is a bonus that comes with the dominant-submissive dynamic.

Is it a bad thing for a man to be submissive?

A submissive man and a dominant woman arrangement is typically not as effective. This is due to the biological differences between the two sexes. Men have evolved to carry out dominant roles, whereas women are better suited to being the caretaker by virtue of their trust in the man as the provider.

Can dominant and submissive relationships lead to marriage?

Absolutely, they can. The art of submission is conducive to a lasting and happy marriage. When both partners have a clear understanding of their roles and they agree on the duties and responsibilities that come with it, a relationship is destined for marriage.

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